just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
