Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
