So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize