you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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