You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
