areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize