Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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