After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
