I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
