Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
