WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
