I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
