just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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