Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just took my morning after pill in the library
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
