you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
