what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
