You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
