I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
