Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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