just come out here and I will go home with you...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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