Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
