Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
