I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
