Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
