that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
