Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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