She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
