sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My pussy is not your playground.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
