If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
