He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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