he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
