IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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