There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
