too bad you live with your parents still
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
