"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
