just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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