I can tuck mytits in my pants
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
