It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I AM VODKA MAN
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
