either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just pee around me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
