All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
