I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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