Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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