He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
