He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
