If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize