I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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