I can tuck mytits in my pants
so let's talk penis.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
