Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize