I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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