You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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