how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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