i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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