this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize