shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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