I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
