beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
