Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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