...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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