Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
