I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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