when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
