wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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