Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You ate ashes out of my bong
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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