last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
