its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize